Backend of Forever

I know, Sunday came and went and I didn't put up a post. My weekend didn't really go as planned, and I didn't have time to put one together yesterday.

We have three full weeks left of classes (with one hanging monday). It's nice to finally have the end in sight, but with everything left to do, it feels so far away. For the major, in order to graduate, we have to fill out a "Practicum Book", where we have to do specific tasks a certain number of times, and management or a professor has to sign us off for it. It's general horse-related things like cleaning stalls, applying poultices, cleaning equipment, etc. None of it is terribly difficult, it's just time-consuming given how much we have to do, and I transferred in, so I have half the time to do everything. I have about 1/3 of the book left, and I am trying to do at least a few more things every day. I made myself a little calendar and wrote a couple things in every day, and if I stick to it I will have most of the last full week free to work on my thesis presentation. The presentation is another thing stressing me out. It has to be a 15 minute (exactly) presentation on one study I used to write my paper. I have been trying to plan it out, but the people around me are taking up so much of my time, I don't get to work on important things.

My biggest stressor comes from the people around me. Everyone is under a lot of pressure given it's the end of the semester and half of us are graduating, but I have been trying to stay out of it. I don't like being involved in drama, especially when I have more important things to be doing. Unfortunately, they all know where I live, and find me to throw me in the middle of their petty problems. All they have to do is knock, and my roommates let them in, regardless of what I say. They have kept me up way too late every night this weekend. It's exhuasting. I have chronic insomnia already, and I am getting older. I can't fully function on just three hours of sleep every night. Not anymore. Plus, I definitely caught a cold. It's been building up for the last couple of days. As much as I want to spend time with them and enjoy the last few weeks, I also need to get work done so that I can actually graduate. I have tried being around them and working on things, but they can get very obnoxious and loud, and will help themselves to my laptop to close out of what I am doing so that I can give them my full attention. It's aggravating. Just because you don't care about your own grades doesn't mean I don't care about mine. This is hopefully my last semester for my last piece of paper. I don't want to screw it up now.

I haven't had a chance to game or really watch anything this week, so I'll skip those sections this time around.

April 17-23 is Penguin Random House's #ProjectReadathon Million Minutes campaign! I am so excited and going to do my best to read at least 20 minutes per day. Here is the description of the event: "From April 17 – 23, the week leading up to UNESCO’s World Book Day, you have an opportunity to #ReadWell and to help young readers in local communities throughout North America. All you have to do is read. Browse and read the free, timed excerpts from our books and authors on this site – from Biography and Memoir, to Health and Wellness, and from Sci-fi & Fantasy, to Young Adult and the Classics – triggering book donations from Penguin Random House to Save the Children, up to 300,000 books." You don't ned to sign up for anything, you just pull up the page, click on a book that looks interesting to you, and start reading! You can sort by genre and average read time (anywhere from 5 minutes to over an hour). If you are interested in participating or want to know more, you can check it out here!

Hope everyone had a great weekend, and a happy Easter if you celebrated!

Posting a little early, I know. I have something going on tomorrow that I plan to post about, that may take up an entire post on its own, so I thought I would post a little early.

The start of the week was just off. It was three days in a row of "those days". You know, the ones where you're dropping everything, running into stuff, words don't work right, and you can't seem to function properly. By Wednesday afternoon it was at least getting a little better. That day, after classes, a friend and I went to a hair salon and I finally got my hair cut! It was down past my shoulder blades and was becoming too much of a hassle to care for, so I have been wanting to get it cut. I decided to get it just about shoulder length (so I can still pull it back in a pony tail), with layers. I love the layered look.( Rambling about riding! )Gaming: I caved and preordered Horizon Zero Dawn a week before it dropped. I regret nothing. I have been keeping an eye on it since its first announcement, and was so excited to play. It definitely did not let me down. I have put in just under three hours so far, because I have been busy working on my senior thesis, and I love it. The setting is pretty large, and looks gorgeous. The enemies are unique and really cool, and their AI is really interesting and advanced compared to most enemy AIs I have seen in games. I will say that so far I'm not overly impressed with any of the characters, but I am also not very far in the main storyline at all yet, so that may very well change. I love the unique concept and the combination of technology with the stone age. I like the simple crafting system that you can access on the go (it makes encounters so much nicer). And I am so excited to see where the game goes! Oh, and I think my favorite thing so far is photo mode! You can hide your character, change brightness, time of day, add filters, and so much more! When I game, I love to take screenshots of landscapes, and I can see myself abusing the hell out of photo mode and taking way too many pictures, hahaha. If you want to see the game for yourself, you can watch my playthrough of the beginning of the game here!

Wow... I don't think I have much more to say. In regards of tv shows, I have watched some more One Tree Hill and Supernatural. I started Wakfu and am only a couple episodes in. My thesis has been taking up almost all of my free time, so I haven't been able to do much of any reading or gaming. Tomorrow is the annual Random House Book Fair! I am pretty excited! I go almost every year. I plan to post about it this weekend!

Hope everyone is having an awesome week!

Ever feel like holding on to someone, knowing they're slipping away, but don't because you don't want to be seen as needy or clingy and end up chasing them away?

Well, I think I'm coming to terms. I'm not happy. Nowhere near, in all honesty. However, I am getting better adjusted to the quiet. It's a painful, lonely quiet, but it hurts less now that I have more things to do to fill my time. That's the plus side of the semester finally kicking in. I have to write my senior thesis paper this semester, which will take up plenty of my time and help me stay focused on something other than the silence.

We have had two weeks of classes already. My riding class is really small, with only 3 of us, which means more individual instruction. I am really happy about that. Our instructor also wants to give us horses that we enjoy riding, and has ideas for musical rides, drills, and creative jumping lessons. I am really interested to see what she comes up with. She seems like the type who will push us hard, but will cheer us on while doing so, which is rare to see in this competitive industry. As for my other classes, I am taking Fundamental Theories of Riding, Management of Equine Activities, Equine Nutrition, and Senior Seminar. Management is pretty dull. It's pretty much all about running hunter/jumper horse shows... It's like this school forgets there are more disciplines than that. Nutrition is pretty cool so far. THe other day we spent the entire class weighing every horse in the barn (all 96 of them). We were also assigned project horses for the semester. We will be doing a semester long small group project where we analyze the horse's health and create a feeding plan to get them to a proper weight and maintain it. My group is doing a horse that just arrived a couple weeks ago. His name is Leo ("A Midsummer Night's Dream"), and he is a gorgeous bay warmblood who is only 12 years old. He is a tad underweight at the moment, but fit, so our goal will be building up what muscle he has and maintaining his condition while packing a few more pounds on him.

Last semester, Dragon Age Girl adopted herself a freshman. Let's call her Lamb for now. For most of last semester, Lamb was very quiet and went to great lengths to avoid interactng with people. Towards the end of last semester, I officially brought her into my little group of mionions, as I like to think of them. They call themselves my ducklings, and now there are 3. Well, the poor unfortunate Lamb is stuck in a riding class with the Tweedles, and Tweedledum, specifically, has been aggravating her. Lamb, having no social skills and plenty of anxiety troubles, immediately demanded to her advisor that she get her scheduled switched. Trying to be a supportive older friend, I explained to her that in life she won't be able to pick everyone around her, and this university is a better place to learn to deal with people than out there in the real world. I offered her skills for dealing with them, because since I've known the two of them I have had to come up with plenty. She shot down every single one in favor of simply demanding to her advisor and to the department chair that she be allowed into other already filled classes just to get away from them. I'm sorry, honey, but the real world won't just move to oblige you because you don't like someone. Coping skills are vital to learn, and better now than later when your job and income depend on your interactions with others. Well, her advisor told her the exact same things that I did. I guess advice only matters when it comes from someone who is tenured. Or maybe it was because she realized her little tantrum would get her nowhere. She is now avoiding them like the plague when she isn't in class. The down side is that she has been messaging me an average of 14 messages an hour for the past week and a half since I gave her my google name. The reason I gave it to her, and I told her this flat out, was that it was the quickest way to get ahold of me if she needed a ride back from the barn after her riding lesson (she rides directly after I do and the shuttle doesn't always run that late). That was it. In case of emergency. Well, she has been abusing the ever-living hell out of it, messaging me to bitch and whine and complain about Tweedledum. Like, I get it, you don't like them. Fun fact: No one around here does. But we don't have a choice, so we cope, put up with what we have to, ignore the rest, and carry on with our lives. Besides, you asked me for advice, shot it so far down it downed in the Indian Ocean, and acted like a spoiled brat who thinks the world should bend to suit you. I don't like self-entitled brats. Get over yourself, learn to have an actual conversation instead of a 24/7 bitch session, and then try talking with me again. I like to converse when it goes both ways. I'm happy to give advice if you ask for it and I can. But I have better things to do than humor your petty childish whining. I'm not sorry.
TL;DR: This freshman is really getting on my nverves by constantly whining to me and thinking the world revolves around her.

Last weekend I was super excited because I got to see my best friend. I really needed to see her and relax with a friend for a while. I don't get to see her often, as we always seem to be a state away, but when I am at school she is only an hour away, so I can visit her once in a while for a day. We hung out and chatted for a bit. She is madly in love with Prompto (FFXV), so there was plenty of teasing~ (ilu and I will ship it for as long as I feel like it). We hit up an outdoor mall by her, which was a lot of fun. I picked up the book The Color of Magic (Pratchett), which is the first Discworld book. There was an awesome little candy store where I got more than I should have >.> I regret nothing when it comes to my candy store purchases. There was even a Peeps store! You know the marshmallow peeps? They had GIANT plushie bunny peeps, tons of marshmallow-y goodness, and Mike-and-Ikes galore. I picked myself up a super comfortable zip-up hoodie that says "Chillin with my Peeps" on it. Cliche, I know, but I have a secret love affair with peeps and I geeked pretty hard when I saw the store. Anyway, I had a ton of fun with my bestie and I am hoping to visit her again sometime soon.

Games: I haven't gamed too much lately. I've been trying to focus on schoolwork. I have played some FFXV though! The Moogle Chocobo Festival started on Mon Jan 23, and it is so freaking adorable!!! I managed to knock out all fo the quests and I have done all of the activities at least once on each difficulty. I want to grind some of them to get the chocobo racing trophies and buy the car decals and paint colors.

Books: I set aside The Ocean at the End of the Lane for a little while. I got to a lull that I was having trouble focusing through. Instead, I have started The Color of Magic (Pratchett). I have about 40 minutes between clsses on Mon/Wed, so I manage to knock out about 20 pages at a time between all of the interruptions. So far it is quirky, but nothing exciting yet. I have heard great things, though, so I plan to stick it out and see if I feel the same as others.

TV/Movies: I have made it to Supernatural S5:E13. Progress. I am definitely not as into it as I was in the first few seasons. I am trying hard to stick it out, but the writing makes it difficult. It realy did, in myopinion, lose a lot of its charm and what made it uniquie when they decided to go the Angels route with it. I have also been watching Glee, for something out of my usual genres. I have to admit, I went in with a lot of skepticism. Some of that skepticism was justified, it seems, but a lot of it was also proven wrong. Most of the actors have truly incredible voices. I am very impressed (It helps that they were all about a decade older than the characters that they portrayed). The show does get very "after school special" way too frequently. I'm on season 3 episode 14 and so far it has felt like every other episode gets in your face with a moral issue. I get it, television is a platform for moral issues, and it's a show for teens so go out there and accept yourself and be you. But there are plenty of shows who have managed to get the same message across without being so... overwritten.

That's the latest in my little fragment of the world. Hope everyone has a wonderfully lovely week!
-NF

So much to do, so little time!

I think in my last post I had just gone home for the weekend. I had a really nice, relaxing weekend. Thursday evening, my parents and I went for a walk around the reservoir in our area. I took them up to see the quarry where I used to sit and write rather frequently. It's one of my favorite places in the world. I miss it all the time.

Friday I had most of the day to myself. I met Mother when she finished work, and we went ot Kohls. I now have a whole new wardrobe for summer! I needed a lot of cheap clothes to get me through summer camp, and I'd say we achieved our goal. Now I just need to find a swimsuit. Why does no one sell board shorts?! I'm not big on bikini bottoms, though I do love the tops, so I usually wear board shorts, too. Unfortunately, my Oakley board shorts don't fit anymore, and apparently nowhere around my house sells any... Hello, I'm from East Coast USA and we don't know what surfing is. So that's still on my to-do list to prep for camp.

Friday night I picked up my cousin Z and we stayed up kind of late playing Undertale. Well, I played Undertale and he watched both me and Dan Vs. I love Dan Vs. I find it to be a really funny show, and I knew he would enjoy it, so I put it on. Now, I feel a little guilty because I had an ulterior motive to inviting him over. Z is like a little brother to me. We grew up pretty close, and he is 2 years younger than me. Back in January he pretty much went off the deep end and dropped out of his final semester of college. Obviously, something big happened, but he won't tell anyone. On top of that, he has a lot of gender identity problems stressing him out all the time, and adding to that stress is the pressure from his parents. I wanted to spend some time with him and see what's been going on. Unfortunately, he dodged all of my questions like a pro. I taught him too well. Anyway, he spent the night.

Saturday was spent enjoying the outdoors. At the end of August last year, my family moved into a huge house on 3.15 acres. Mind you, we came from stereotypical suburbia, so it's amazingly wonderful to have so much space now. The house had 2 owners before us, and the first had a garden plot out back. The second never touched it. We spent the afternoon digging it out and setting it up so that come Mother's Day mother can start planting her vegetables. The garden plot is a short way down a pretty steep slope, so I dug the hill out and made rock steps for her. It's not the first set of rock steps I've ever made, but given the land I'm not sure they will last all summer. I told her and Father that they should look into getting it at least reinforced by summer, if not professionally done. Father seemed way more confident than I felt about my masonry, haha.

On Sunday I returned to campus. I was very hesitant about driving all the way back up here alone. I had other reasons to hesitate, too. Honestly, I would rather have walked barefoot down the entire Appalachian Trail than come back here and deal with this. It's a 4 hour drive and even on a good day I don't do well alone for that long. I don't get along with myself, to put it simply. In order to keep my focus, I listened to Coheed&Cambria's albums, starting from the first one. For those who don't know, their music tells a huge space opera scifi story. I spent 6 years studying every line and every comic book to figure it out. To this day I still am unsure about some parts. But anyway, I made it all the way through three and a half of their albums! I almost finished the main story! They also have a prequel album, 2 spin offs, and one album (their most recent) that's just awesome music and has nothing to do with the (completed) story. It was a pretty successful distraction. A couple of friends kept me company that evening for a while.

Monday was uneventful. My first class was Practical. The egocentric professor I mentioned last post amused me. As soon as he saw my note from the health center he practically threw my missed handouts and homework at me. Guess he knows he isn't always in charge. We set up a schedule for me to make up the quizzes I missed (he gives a quiz every class). I met with my building director and Student Life so that they could get my note on file and notify my professors officially. My Course Design class was uneventful. That night was room selection, which was pretty exciting! My group was #29 (there are I think ~40 apartments). We managed to get the second to last room in the building we wanted! It's even on the same floor and side of the building we wanted! We're all pretty excited, and looking forward to moving in in the fall.

Now we get to today, which was also uneventful. I got to ride Twist this morning in my lesson, which was nice. I enjoy riding him, and am glad that my first ride back after everything was on him. After my lesson I spent some extra time pampering him. He even got his legs and tail washed! Farm Facilities was uneventful. We spent the class discussing trucks, trailers, and hitches. Woo. When I got back I knocked out my homeworks for my Practical class. I grabbed dinner with some friends, and one of them informed me that her roommate (they have been arguing lately) flipped shit and moved out this morning without warning. Honestly, that whole situation is like a horrible soap opera and it's highly amusing to watch. Tonight was also Lip It, the school's lip syncing competition! They host it every semester, and it never fails to disappoint. This time around featured "Black-Eyed Peas" (minus Fergie), "Chris Brown" and girlfriend, 3 different "Rhianna"s, and many more. The winner of this competition was a female "Ginuwine" who sang, danced, and thrusted to "Pony".

Not looking forward to tomorrow. I still have a 10 page paper to write, ideally by tomorrow night. Which is not going to happen. I have no idea when I am going to be able to finish it. I might be able to get some work done on it tomorrow between classes, but there is no chance I can have it finished by 6pm. I am going to devote all Thursday afternoon/evening/night to it, though, to try to have it done. Mother is coming into town that evening, though, so I'm not sure how much time I will have. We are going into NYC on Friday for a really col event. I will try to post all about it this weekend! Saturday, the town is hosting a spring festival, complete with a carnival and free M&Ms for everyone, so we will of course be checking that out. She heads back on Sunday, so I can work on it then, too, but I really want to have it done before Mother gets in to town. I really need to be done with it. It's adding so much stress to my every day. I can't wait until May 10, when the semester is over and I am heading home to kick back and relax for two and a half weeks. Just two more weeks... Gotta keep reminding myself of that.

-N.E.

This break has flown by. It was incredibly busy. Let's see how well I can sum it up...

I drove back Friday (3/18), and had a pretty quiet weekend. On Tuesday I took my car in for an oil change (prepare for a rant below), and then had dinner with a friend (we'll call him Adopted Brother, as he is like an older brother to me) and his new-ish girlfriend. They have been officially seeing each other since late January, and I have not been able to meet her yet. She seems really nice! I liked chatting with her, and she seemed to like me, so when I am back in town again we are going to try to grab dinner again.

Wednesday, Mother and I drove down to VA. It was an easy, but very long drive, so we just grabbed dinner in town and crashed at the hotel. Without ranting, I'll try to explain that night. See, I hate sleeping anywhere near Mother. She snores louder than a train (this is proven fact, as we have frequently travelled overnight on trains together). I am a very light sleeper. I had a job interview the next morning. She was snoring so loud that even with noise cancelling headphones and being in the bathroom, she was still too loud for me to sleep. I got an hour of sleep total, in 5-10 minute increments. Not kidding. I tried to sleep in the bathroom. The bathtub was too small, so I grabbed pillows and crashed on the floor. So uncomfortable, but you've got to do what you've got to do. The second night, she felt so bad that she rented me my own room, so I was actually able to sleep. Anyway, moving on.

The job interview went great! The lady brushed off Mother entirely, and Mother had to sit in the car the whole time. Serves her right for inviting herself. She was so offended. But the lady was really nice and straightforward, and we got along great. She offered me the job on the spot! Looks like I am going to be a riding camp counselor this summer! I'm so excited~

After the interview, Mother and I visited Monticello, since it was literally right down the street. The place was really pretty, and the views were breathtaking. If anyone is in the area, it is definitely worth checking it out. The house is really fascinating, too. It has a lot of Jefferson's books and tools in it. Plus, they still grow food in his gardens and there is an archaeology crew working year-round to find more things.

We drove back on Friday, and went straight to the dealership. Allow me to explain (ranty paragraph, feel free to skip).( Long rant about stupid people )
Alright! Rant over. Now on to today (Saturday 3/6). Since I am driving back to school tomorrow, we celebrated Easter today. My middle brother and his wife came over around 4 and we "opened Easter baskets". Mother couldn't find the Easter baskets (probably still boxed up from when we moved last August), so she just set stuff on the table and covered it with dish towels. We finally got to "open" it and we all got a couple candies and a kite. Mine is a little Bob (minion) kite. Mother got herself an eagle, Father got a US Navy airplane, Oldest Brother got a Red Baron, Middle Brother got a Ninja Turtle, and Sister In Law got Elsa. W all went outside and flew them for a little while, which was actually kind of fun. The wind wasn't very consistent, but when it blew we had fun. It was my sister in law's first time actually flying a kite! We then took some family pictures, then had dinner. Now, I'm trying to unpack the things I brought back with me, and get ready to head back tomorrow.

I'm a little sad about my summer work being so far away. I wish I had some consistency. The move in August came out of nowhere, and within 7 days I moved into this house, then 4 hours away up to school. I'm only back here for a few days at a time every month and a half or so. It's exhausting and disheartening and lonely constantly moving. I feel like I am living out of my car. I don't like it. I just want to finally settle in somewhere for longer than 2 months. I need stability. All of this moving around is messing me up.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a good weekend!

-N.E.

(I have a question! Would anyone be interested if I posted clips from my writing here? I want to get back into working on my series, but I haven't been feeling it. I usualy feel more motivated when someone is reading or waiting for the next update. So if I posted excerpts or scenes, would anyone be interested in reading? I can also add people to a list so not everyone has to read if they don't want more stuff cluttering their f-feed.)

Hey there. Sorry it's been a few days since I've updated. Having some trouble typing. Turns out, last week I screwed up my ulnar nerve in my arms. The left is worse than the right by far. It keeps going all tingly, and typing aggravates it. So does riding. The doc thinks it was caused by one of the horses pulling too hard. It's messed up in 2 places: under my shoulder, and in my ring finger, so that makes sense. If it is still messed up when I get back from spring break, she said she will check to see if it may have actually been torn. I hope that's not the case. It's not too bad, most of the time, but when it kicks in it's not very pleasant. It's kind of like when you get numbed at the dentist and the feeling in your lip starts to come back. It's cold and dense and fuzzy feeling... if that makes sense. Only, it stays like that for about an hour or so each time. Argh.

Anyway, haven't been up to much the last couple of days, aside from the usual. My Course Design midterm was Monday evening, and I think I actually did pretty well. Not perfect, but probably a mid-high B. For my riding class today, I had Chester again. My instructor did inform me, though, that she is giving me another horse, Zanga, for Thursday and Tuesday. Zanga has a reputation for being a "land shark", which means he likes to make faces and try to bite everyone, haha. Apparently he is rather nice under saddle, though, which will be an incredibly welcome change from Chester. We had quite the battle today, but by the end of it we had to compromise. He may have been trotting at the speed of molasses, but at least he looked fantastic doing it.

Tonight, I went with Dragon Age Girl and another friend to see Zootopia! It was super cute and had some really funny parts. I also enjoyed the numerous references to classic movies and popular tv shows. I recommend it if you enjoy kids movies with plenty for the adults.

Anyway, my arm is tingly, so I'm going to go put some heat on it and see if that helps. Catch you later!

-N.E.

Woke up incredibly tired and irritated today. Still managed to get to the shuttle on time and make it through my first class. By the time I got back to campus, the sun was shining and things were looking a little better. I got myself all set up in the little living room, windows open and everything, when right as I sit down my roommates pile through the door with a bunch of their squealing friends and ruin any chance of me having a relaxing and peaceful productive afternoon. Of course. Made a phonecall and asked a simple yes/no question, which the numbskull on the other end completely ignored and just rambled for 10 freaking minutes. Honestly I don't even know what they were rambling about. Then they took my name and number and hung up on me before I could try asking again. Some people should not be receptionists. And they never called me back.

Went back to the barn for my second class, which wasn't too bad, I guess. It was Course Design, and it still is tough, but I think I'm improving. On the shuttle ride back, I tried to tell my friend my good news about the summer camp, but she just talked over me like always and rambled on about a bunch of different things, often interrupting herself to go on about something entirely unrelated. She is frustrating to listen to, never mind trying to talk to her. Late Nite wasn't too bad. Me and another friend had a nice time chatting and ignoring everyone else. I had planned to leave Late Nite by 8:30 (it opens at 7:30, so that's plenty of time), but they all kept rambling and blocked me into the booth against the wall, so we didn't leave until after 9. I was going to go back to my room and work on my research paper, but they dragged me back to their room. One of their birthdays is March 1, so I decided to be nice and said that I could stay until 10 at the latest. Then, of course, one of them had to sit in front of the door and refused to move, so I didn't actually leave there until 12:15. Thanks, guys. It's not like I don't have to be up at 6 to get ready to go to the barn to work and ride. I know none of you do, but I do. Thanks for making me not get enough sleep. This is what I get for trying to be nice.

So not only am I going to be exhausted come morning, but I feel sick now. I think whatever I had for Late Night didn't agree with me. Plus, I didn't get my research done that I wanted to. So incredibly irritated right now. I'm too tired to be angry, but I'm sure it will hit in the morning.

Oh, and whomever lives above me is hiding a dog in their room, apparently. It just started barking like crazy. Fuckin' A.

-N.E.